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You are Kung Fu Master number . You talk too much. Let's Fight!

Mafia vs. Ninja is the undisputable best movie ever made. The only reason it didn't sweep the oscars and earn hundreds of millions of dollars at the box office is that it was filmed in China in 1984. What it doesn't earn compared to other movies is made up and then some by all the Kung Fu action. It makes other great movies, like Reefer Madness and Night of the Living Dead, seem inferior, and other movies seem just plain pointless. If this movie was given the publicity of most movies here in the states it would have been a huge sucess. I would have gone to see it at every possible showing, and so would any other inteligent person. The home video would have been huge as well. A copy would be proudly displayed in every home. Action Figures would be excellent. Who wouldn't want to relive the epic drama and intense action of this cinematic masterpiece? As my friend Nate put it, "Mafia vs. Ninja is the best thing to come out of China since the Cultural Reveloution." It is truly sad that it will never get the hype it deserves in America, just because it is pro Communist and our polticians aren't.

Jones shows off his unique Kung Fu style. The hero of the story Jack! A ninja springs out of a tree and into battle!


The Movie begins with Jack Do, the main charcter, being accused of being a rapist by Charlie Woo, Do's soon to be sidekick. After a breif conflict Do tells Woo that he isn't a rapist, but a stranger nwe to Shanghai. Do and Woo become friends and Woo gets Do a job with him shoveling manure. Well the protaganists are working, Kung Mow and his gang of thugs show up, demanding money from them. These guys are truly nasty. After the bullies leave, Do and Charlie meet with the leader of the Chinese Mafia and decide to do something about these thugs. Meanwhile Kung Mow and his Thugs join up with a Japanese group called Ninja, infamous in Shanghai for their very capitalist Night Club, which specializes in gambling, prostituition and opium trafficking. Ninja has hired 5 great assassins from around the world to do away with the Mafia. These assassins are: 1.Fuji-A large and in charge samurai that always wears a hawaiin shirt. 2.Jones-A master of hand to hand Kung Fu, he's quick on his feet, and has a pretty cool pair of Kung Fu pants. 3.Nemo-The first Nemo is Japanese, and he is quite deadly with his crazy bladed nunchuk type of weapon. 4.Nemo-The second Nemo is Italian, and his weapon of choice is the throwing knife, with which his accuracy is very precise. 5.The leader of Ninja's sister, Karen. Her job is to seduce Jack and kill him. After several kung fu scenes and one bicycle against car chase, we reach the final scene of the movie. Jack and Charlie split up to battle Ninja outside Ninja's leader's house. Charlie dashes of into the woods. He encounters many very stealthy ninjas. He ends up doing several flying kicks (cable in plain sight), and rolls around to avoid the Ninjas in the trees Zing-Zinging throwing stars. These ninjas are very deadly considering they can walk straight up the trees. When Charlie gets knocked down he jumps back up (tape going backwards) and gets back into the fight. Eventually he defeats the ninjas and continues on. Meanwhile Jack must battle Fuji. Jack's quickness manages to overcome the not-so-gentle giant. The dynamic duo, finishes off the other assassins, choking the italian Nemo with a sweat shirt, and doing things like that. Towards the end Jack battles off ninja hanchman with an uprooted tree. But these Ninjas know "Secret Ninja Kung Fu" meaning that with a poof of smoke they can turn into small piles of leaves and shrubs that can move around and make funny noises, and then pop back into their original Ninja form. After many more exciting and hysterical fights, a battle scarred Jack and Charlie emerge victorious. Good triumphs over Evil as it is destined to. Congratulations Jack and Charlie!!!

The only other Mafia vs. Ninja sites I could find

Pigowing's Mafia vs. Ninja Site: This has some of the great quotes and neat pics from the movie.
Jagwio's Mafia vs. Ninja Page: Another Mafia vs. Ninja Site!!!
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